Forgiveness is Medicine

Welcome to another edition of the Doctor’s Note where we talk about what’s on our minds when it comes to your health.

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we’re asked to do—and one of the most healing. This week I sat down with my friend and pickleball partner, Dr. Robert Russell. Dr. Russell’s not only an accomplished philosopher and minister, but also has decades of experience helping people navigate life’s toughest emotional challenges. We dug into the powerful topic of forgiveness—what it really means, why it’s so difficult for so many, and how tightly it’s linked to our physical health. Drawing on research, real-world counseling experience, and even personal anecdotes, we explored why letting go of old wounds is essential to true healing. 

Through our conversation, it became clear that harboring unforgiveness—towards others or ourselves—can have profound effects on our overall well-being. Not only can it manifest as chronic stress, bitterness, and spiritual unrest, but the impact often reaches into our bodies, contributing to real disease. We also explored the process of forgiveness and why it’s rarely as simple as just “letting it go.” Often, the first step is recognizing and confronting deep pain—a step that can lead to a long, layered journey of healing, one that may call for the support of trusted friends or professional guidance. But, as Dr. Russell reminded us, forgiveness is much less about excusing harmful behavior and more about reclaiming freedom and health for ourselves.

PODCAST NOTES 

• Emotional Health Drives Physical Outcomes: In my practice, I see again and again that unresolved trauma—particularly from childhood—lies at the root of so many chronic illnesses, from autoimmune diseases to obesity. Dr. Russell and I agree that while genetics play a role, it’s unmanaged emotional pain that often sets the groundwork for physical ailments. Unless these emotional wounds are addressed, physical treatments will only scratch the surface.

• Unforgiveness is Like a Growing Toxin: The physiological effects of carrying anger and bitterness are much like harboring a hidden infection or tumor—it festers beneath the surface, causing widespread damage over time. This kind of inner turmoil generates chronic stress and inflammation, which we know are foundations for diseases ranging from heart issues to fibromyalgia.

• The Journey of Forgiveness is Ongoing: Genuine forgiveness isn’t a quick fix or a one-time choice—it’s a long-term process, particularly with deep wounds or trauma. Dr. Russell described how the act of forgiveness often must be repeated whenever painful memories resurface. The discipline is in choosing, again and again, to release the hold that hurt has over us.

• Healing Begins with Acknowledgment, Not Suppression: We talked about how our default as humans, especially with overwhelming pain, is to suppress trauma—lock it away and try to move on. But this never really works. Instead, that pain morphs into other issues like bitterness, addiction, or relationship problems. True healing starts by bringing the trauma into the light—talking with someone you trust and allowing yourself to finally feel those long-buried emotions.

• Self-Forgiveness Relies on Receiving, Not Excusing: Many people say, “I can forgive others, but I can’t forgive myself.” Dr. Russell reframed this beautifully: true self-forgiveness is not about excusing our own mistakes, but about accepting forgiveness, often through faith, trusted relationships, or dedicated counseling. Releasing self-condemnation is rarely something we can do alone.

• Forgiveness and Consequences are Separate Issues: Forgiveness is not the same as excusing or erasing the consequences of harmful actions. Even if we forgive a wrongdoer, real-world consequences—be it legal actions, loss, or boundaries—remain. What forgiveness does is remove the ongoing spiritual and emotional burden from our own hearts, rather than letting the past continue to poison our present.

• Community and Shared Experience Fuel Recovery: The healing process is often most effective when guided by someone who’s made that journey themselves. Whether it’s a peer who has found peace after childhood abuse or a fellow veteran navigating PTSD, shared experiences provide powerful wisdom and hope. Our community—trusted friends, family, or support groups—matter deeply in breaking the cycle of pain.

• Forgiveness is a Pathway to Freedom: At its heart, forgiveness is about liberation. When we purposefully choose to forgive, we are cutting the tie that keeps us bound to our offender or our past pain. Refusing to forgive means continuing to allow someone else to dictate the tenor of our emotional life. Moving towards forgiveness is the single most powerful act we can take to restore our own wellbeing, joy, and sense of agency.

I want to challenge each of you to pause and consider—who is it in your life you’ve never truly forgiven? Is there an old wound, perhaps buried deep, that still weighs on your heart and mind? Take the first step today, whether it’s talking with a trusted confidant, counselor, or even starting with a simple prayer. 

Remember, forgiveness is a path to freedom and better health. Don't let bitterness control your life story. And if you found today’s discussion helpful, please share the podcast with someone who might need encouragement on this journey. 

Till next week. 

Stay educated. Stay healthy.